In honor of American Heart Month, I’ve been reflecting on my personal risks and the reasons I take heart health seriously. While many of my relatives, including my parents, had high cholesterol, I believed it was solely due to obesity and not something I needed to worry about. My grandfather had lifelong heart issues caused by a measles infection when he was a child. He underwent a heart transplant but passed away from a heart attack later on. However, there was nothing I could have inherited from him. It wasn’t until my late 20s that I became aware of my increased risks for developing cardiovascular disease.

My workout portion of the week ends with two loaded days, followed by two rest days. The last class is starting to test my fatigue, but I also know I’m going into two days off, so I have to dig deep and power through. Today was tough, but a good coach and a full class can be motivating. I felt the muscles working, focused on my breathing, and stayed in the moment. There was no need to think about later, about after class. My mind stayed in the studio with me.

I am tracking calories and macros with the MyFitnessPal app. It’s set up to adjust based on activity, so on workout days it has been suggesting over 3,000 calories, including 230+ grams of protein. Compared to how I was eating before returning to the gym, this is a major increase! It has been easier to eat the right food than to eat enough of it. To avoid overeating at once, I’m eating smaller, more balanced meals throughout the day. This takes a lot of careful planning and some meal prep.

Today was another benchmark challenge: the 500-meter row. I wasn't expecting to PR (I’m very out of shape, comparatively), but I still felt competitive when the challenge started. ~2 min of full exertion. The adrenaline masked the discomfort for the first 150 meters, but then it felt like work. My arms started overcompensating for my legs, which isn’t helpful when the leg drive is the source of the power. So I tried to focus on getting my legs to do more work, but they weren’t strong enough. They were fatigued, I was breathing hard, and my heart rate was at its max. I dug as deep as I could, but the muscles just weren’t there.

Rest days are tough. I struggled to “rest” today. I’m excited to be working out again; it’s fun and makes me feel good. On my rest days, I’m a little sad I’m not working out. I had to tell myself that days off are just as important as days on. My body needs to repair, rebuild, and refuel. I’m getting ready to work hard.

The routine is starting to feel normal! I noticed before leaving the house that I wasn’t as anxious as last week. When something is new or novel, I feel compelled to over-prepare; I anticipate everything I might need. Today, I was more casual (too casual, actually, I forgot to bring my phone).

There was a lot working against me today. My family was going to drop me off at the studio, so we all had to get out of the door on time. We piled into the car chaotically, and it wouldn’t start. We drive a hybrid-electric car, and it’s an older battery-powered car that does not like freezing temperatures. Fortunately, my neighbor was pulling out of her garage at that moment, and I asked for a ride! I was a little late to class (something I feel very uncomfortable doing), but I made it!

Wrapping up week one with a well-deserved rest day! I felt pretty sore when I woke up, but once I got up and moving, I became less stiff. I focused on getting enough calories and protein throughout the day.

After another double workout today (regular and strength training) I am definitely noticing the fatigue! I took a hot bath again after the workout, and refueled with carbs and extra protein. I’ve tried not to stay in one spot for long periods of time, since I’ve noticed that moving around makes me feel less stiff and sore. I actually participated in an impromptu family dance party!

I did a double workout today—regular and then strength training. It was a lot of work and loading weights to help trigger some muscle growth. I’m starting to feel sore, especially in my ankles (?) and booty. I focused on stretching well for recovery and took a hot bath when I got home. I’ve also been able to get 150 grams of protein from a combination of cottage cheese, a protein shake, shrimp, chicken, chickpeas, and beans!

I finally made it to the studio today! It was a 1-mile benchmark run (not a PR, but I ran the whole mile!) I haven’t run in over a year—my goal was to finish and to run the whole thing. It felt good to be back. I lifted heavier weights than I thought I could. I couldn’t quite hit the wattage on the rower or run as fast, but my current mantra is “more room for growth.”

It’s been a bit of a false start, but I’m still sticking to my intended routine, which means today was a built-in rest day. I focused on eating healthy foods and drinking enough water. I’m still working out my diet to make sure it’s nutritious and balanced. The research I’ve done on muscle-building diets seems to indicate eating about 0.8-1 gram of protein per 1 lb of weight, or 40% of my macro ratio. I’m not sure where that lands me, because 137 grams is pretty difficult to reach each day; I’ve been getting about 100 grams from high-protein foods, but 40% of my macro ratio estimates higher than 150 grams a day! Without supplementing with protein powders, I’m having trouble managing the carbs and fats in the meals I’ve put together, so they don’t take over. It’s been a puzzle, to say the least!

The Transformation Challenge is off to an unusual start! I had every intention of going to my first class back in several months, and the first class of my goal of four per week of the 8-week challenge, BUT we received an incomprehensible amount of snow, which closed the studio (and most of the city).

It all begins tomorrow—8 weeks of intentional and intensive training. I have the plan, the tracking apps, and the new workout gear I got on clearance at Target. I’ve got some pre-game jitters for sure. I’ve done the Transformation Challenge twice; I won the first time and failed to stick with the routine the second. I’m definitely in a different headspace than either of those times. I’ve been working on my mental health after recognizing that I was in severe AuDHD burnout. I have been steadily incorporating healthier choices in daily life. Physical and mental challenges have forced a steady routine of tracking my hormone levels, blood pressure, heart health markers, water intake, etc. Some of those data sets have been kept for over a year! For the TC, I’m going to add dietary tracking (calories and macros), which I’ve done before and am prepared for the time-consuming, tedious work it can be.